🔥 Official Bhai Roast Page 🔥

Saale tera "5 minute mein aata hoon" sun ke ghadi ne bhi resign kar diya! Boli — "Bhai ke time zone mein kaam nahi karti main!" Tera shadow bhi tujhse 2 ghante pehle pahunch jaata hai yaar. Punctuality teri dushman hai — BC kabhi time pe aaya hai kya zindagi mein? 😂💀

Harami, teri phone screen pe itni ungliyaan padti hain ki mobile bhi harassment case daakhil karne wala tha! 24/7 online rehta hai, lekin bhai ke WhatsApp message ka reply — "Sorry yaar, busy tha!" Busy tha reels dekhne mein na? Chhod nahi sakata tu phone ko, ullu ke patthe? 😭📱

Yaar teri neend ka schedule dekh ke Kumbhkaran ne bhi resign kar diya aur bola — "Yeh mujhse bhi bada case hai bhai!" Alarm bajta hai → snooze → alarm bajta hai → snooze → alarm delete. Bhai dopahar 2 baje uthna "subah uthna" count karta hai kya tere liye? Kamina! 😴💀

Khana order karte waqt tera confidence dekho — jaise Zomato ka baap ho! Lekin bill aate hi Thanos wala snap maarta hai — gayab! Bhai teri pocket mein hawa rehti hai ya sirf excuses? "Agle baar pakka deta hoon" — yeh agle baar kabhi aata hi nahi, harami! 😆💸

Exam 3 ghante baad hai aur tu reels scroll kar raha hai — bhai yeh kaunsi revision strategy hai? Tera dimag sirf Instagram algorithm ko jaanta hai, syllabus ko nahi, kutte! Notes — "kal se pakka!" Tera kal kabhi aata hi nahi saale. Roj ka drama hai yeh. 💀😭

Plan banane mein tu Elon Musk se aage hai — visionary bilkul! Execute karne mein? Bhai teri planning sun ke Google Calendar ne therapy lena shuru kar diya. Plan A: Sona. Plan B: Zyada sona. Emergency: Netflix. Backup: "yaar mood nahi tha!" Kya life hai teri saale, kamina kahin ka! 🤦🔥